Quietly, Quietly
by ai-08
Summary: No, Matthew is already so easily forgotten. He will not be just another forgotten notch on someone's bedpost as well. AU, FrCan, Gift fic
1. first

**A/N**: I don't know what this is, but it's a gift fic for catskid100 and Tamer Lorika. I'm sorry it took so long, and that is it so very different than originally planned. D: Instead of a one-shot, this will have multiple parts. Like I said, it's completely different from how it started out (Oh, about a month ago...) but it's still FrCan, so... yay? *hides*

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**Quietly, Quietly**

first

* * *

**1.  
**Matthew is used to blending into the background. He is used to stepping down and letting others have the limelight, especially his brother, Alfred, because it has always been this way. Even now, with him at university and Alfred living with people he had met over the summer in the next town over- even now Matthew is used to the lack of attention.

He hardly ever sees his flat-mate and never speaks to anyone outside of his family and a few of his coworkers. At school and work he is pleasant and polite- his is the sort of personality that makes him approachable for some things: Asking to borrow his notes or to run an errand, for example, but it is not the sort of personality that makes women notice him or that gets him invited out for a few beers with the guys.

Even so, Matthew is perfectly content. He lives a quiet, drama free life. He has everything that he could ever want; he's going to school, he has a stable, at least somewhat-fulfilling part-time job, he lives in a nice area, and in a few months he will finally be able to buy that car he's had his eye on.

Matthew can find nothing to complain about. He is perfectly happy.

**2.**  
But sometimes he will lay awake at night and wonder: What would it be like to be Alfred? To be adored, sought after, wanted by everyone he met?

Matthew thinks that it would be tiring and troublesome.

He also thinks that he's not all that sure that he's not just jealous.

**3.**  
Every weekday morning Matthew walks to the little family diner down the street from his apartment to have breakfast. He always orders the same thing (pancakes and Canadian bacon with coffee), he always sits at the same booth (the right corner, furthest from the door), and he always has the same waitress (a cute Ukrainian woman with short, light-colored hair).

But today he has a different server, a man. And he is told, with a French accent and an air of superiority that no one could miss, that his name is Francis.

**4.**  
"What can I get for you, mon cher?"

"Where is Katyusha?"

"Ah, she has decided to take a vacation with her family and will be gone for a few days."

"Um... I don't think I've ever seen you here before..."

"All the more reason to get to know each other then, oui?"

**5.**  
Five minutes into their first conversation- and it isn't even a conversation, really. He's just taking his order- Nonetheless, five minutes in and Matthew already knows that he does not like Francis.

And he does not like Francis because he reeks of conquest and heartbreak. Furthermore, he does not like Francis because the man had the audacity to think that he does.

(The fact that Matthew_ is_ rather flattered by the attention and intrigued by the Frenchman's flamboyant, carefree mannerisms is completely beside the point.)

Oh, in the back of his mind he is willing to admit that the attention pleases him. Francis seems so interested, seems so _interesting_- taking his order with a wink, asking him about himself, where he lives, telling him funny stories and refusing to leave his table to check on his others. Matthew almost doesn't mind that Francis is blatantly looking for a hookup- that's just the sort of man Francis is, he's sure- because he is too caught up in the moment. After all, no one has ever really given him this sort of attention before.

But Matthew has his pride to consider. And really, where would this get him?

No, Matthew is already so easily forgotten. He will not be just another forgotten notch on someone's bedpost as well.

**6.**  
It is the next morning and Matthew has forgotten all about the pervious day. That is until he walks up to the diner and happens to glance in the window and sees- black apron, sleeves rolled up to the elbow, blond hair pulled back, and that knowing, almost-smirk.

They make eye contact. Francis drops the smirk -and his eyes- and a soft smile appears on his face. He beckons for him to come in with an inviting tilt of his head and a playful gesure. Matthew finds himself at a crossroad.

He stands there, practically frozen and completely embarrassed at the attention. The situation is only made worse when he realizes that he is _standing outside a diner looking like an idiot _and he cannot bring himself to do anything but turn around and take the long way to work.

He does not have breakfast that day.

**7.  
**It is the weekend.

More precisely it is Saturday evening and Alfred is four hours late.

This probably means that he will not be coming, and will not remember that he has forgotten until next Wednesday or Thursday, when he will call and apologize and be immediately forgiven.

Matthew glances at the clock; it is close to eleven. He supposes that it would not hurt to go to the bar alone. He's bound to find someone there he knows.

He checks himself over in the mirror to make sure that he looks presentable, then feels silly for staring at himself and pretends that he doesn't care that his hoodie is wrinkled and his hair won't do as he says.

He leaves his apartment and walks the two blocks to the bar.

**8.  
**The bar is crowded and it is obvious by the amount of students that it is probably someone's nineteenth birthday party.

He orders a Labatt Bleue and gives the bar a look-around: if all else fails, Arthur is usually there. But not tonight. So Matthew takes his drink and heads to an empty corner. It is not that he minds the people and the noise, on the contrary, he finds it amusing to watch and sometimes even wishes to get involved in all the silly, pointless fun. It's just that he would feel odd trying to include himself when he wouldn't even know where to begin.

So he is content to sit back and drink his beer and watch- as Alfred drinks a shot of who-knows-what off of some nameless girl's stomach.

Matthew takes another sip and hardly tastes it as he wonders how many other times his brother has simply "forgotten" about him.

**9.  
**It's like clock-work. Every Sunday afternoon Matthew will take the twenty minute bus ride to the zoo and he will walk past the exotic birds and the gorillas and the elephants and head straight for the aquarium to watch the polar bears.

This Sunday is no different.

For a few minutes he stands a few feet away from the glass just watching them swim, but then it seems as if one of them has noticed him and, with child-like curiosity, it swims towards him and Matthew, holding his breath, takes a step forward.

"Are you happy?" he whispers. He is not sure who he is asking.

"It always seems as though you are running away."

Someone is standing next to him. He sees in the blurred reflection before them that it is Francis.

"I half expected you to disappear on me when I spotted you," he continues, playfully teasing him.

Matthew gives him a strange look, but when Francis turns to face him he cannot look him in the eye. He means to reprimand him for bothering him, but his voice just comes out like its usual whisper. "E-excuse me?" he asks.

Francis sighs. "You haven't come by the diner in a while. And last night you left the bar before I got the chance to speak with you. I didn't think I'd had enough time to offend you," he laughs. "Are you avoiding me?" The question is meant to be playful, but the hint of uncertainty in his voice is not lost on Matthew and it leaves him confused, wondering why it is even there.

"Are you stalking me?" he finally counters, uncharacteristically bold.

Francis chuckles. "Would you believe me if I told you that I just keep happening to run into you?"

Matthew doesn't have anything to say to that. He would really like to roll his eyes at that horribly cheesy line, but instead his heart has started to beat erratically and his palms have grown sweaty.

"No," he says after a moment.

At that Francis gives a good, hearty laugh. "You are too much," he says. "Why is it that I always see you alone?"

Matthew has lifted a hand to the glass and has begun to gently trace invisible designs on it with his index finger, wishing that the polar bear would come back.

"They're solitary creatures," he says aloud, mostly to himself.

"But I was talking about you, mon cher, not the bears."

Matthew gives a slight shrug. They don't speak any more after that.

**10.  
**Francis has not left, and Matthew feels uncomfortable standing with him so he turns to leave.

Francis stops him, lightly catching his arm. Matthew instantly pulls back with a frown and Francis has the decency to look down, knowing he has over-stepped.

Matthew stares at him. "What?" he finally asks.

Francis shakes his head and Matthew is certain he is wondering to himself, 'Why am I even bothering?'

Instead, he says, "If I gave you my number, would you call me?"

Matthew thinks that yes, he probably would. But what good would it do?

So he shakes his head no and quietly walks back to the bus stop. He does not run into Francis again.


	2. second

**A/N**: Let me know if I'm being to vague or if Mattie sounds like a whiney little emo boy, because that isn't my intension. I'm afraid that I might be making him a little too, "Wah, woe is me." XD;;

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**Quietly, Quietly**

second

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**1.**  
It is a Wednesday and Matthew is correct. For all his show of spontaneity and detest of all things routine, Alfred is predictable and, precisely at one o'clock, he calls. (Alfred never can remember that even though he has just woken up, Matthew has class at this time.)

Matthew feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and reaches for it, knowing that all he has to do is excuse himself to the restroom, pick it up, and say hello. "I'm really sorry, Matt. It totally slipped my mind to call you," Alfred will say, being half honest. Or, "I'm really sorry, I didn't feel like going out and I forgot to call." This too will be half honest; for all he knows, Alfred very well could have forgotten to call. He just hopes that the lie about not having gone out will be an attempt to spare his feelings.

He thinks that he shouldn't still be upset about the weekend. He knows how Alfred is.

His phone stops vibrating and Alfred does not try to call back like he usually would.

Matthew lets go of his phone. His fingers are hot and sweaty and they ache. He didn't know he'd been holding his phone so tightly.

**2.**  
Matthew is reading and rereading his paper for Psycholinguistics when he remembers that he has yet to call Alfred back. He reaches for his phone and opens it. He has a missed call, but it is not from his brother. Whoever it is, they've also left him a voicemail.

Matthew frowns. He had been certain Alfred would have called by now. Deciding not to worry about it, he listens to the message. As the time and date of the call are being announced, Matthew finds his stomach tying in knots. He holds his breath and tries to calm down; he's not sure why he's getting so worked up over a simple voice mail. But the prospect that maybe, just maybe it is from-

"Hey, um, this is... Matthew, right? It's Feliciano. We have history together, I'm pretty sure, and I was wondering if I could borrow you notes..."

Matthew closes his phone and sets it down on the counter, telling himself over and over again not to think about it.

He stares at the television; it's been muted. On screen, a woman sings. To Matthew, it looks as if she's screaming.

**3.**  
A week passes much the same as it always does. It is a Tuesday evening and he's just gotten off work. The air is cool with only the slightest hint of a breeze- perfect weather for a pullover hoodie. All of the local stores downtown are having an open house and he thinks he might like to walk around for a bit. He considers the things he must do that evening- finish a paper and do a bit of reading- and decides that he has plenty of time to have a look around. He wanders down the street aimlessly, never really giving any of the stands any consideration, content to simply walk amongst the crowds and listen to the noise.

"Matvey!"

He glances to his left; Katyusha is calling to him from one of the food vendors. He gives a slight, awkward smile and waves. He continues to walk.

It does not take her long to catch up with him. "Why haven't you been by for breakfast?" she asks.

"I've been waking up late," he lies. Matthew hopes she doesn't notice; he is a horrible liar.

"It's not because of Francis, is it?" she asks quietly. "I heard he tried to chat you up and you haven't been by since." Katyusha worries at her bottom lip. Matthew looks down. She is always worrying and it makes him feels horrible for having given her something else to be upset about.

"I've really missed you," she continues. "Mornings just aren't the same without you!"

Matthew doesn't know what to say to that. He feels his face turn a horrible shade of red and he wishes she'd quit saying those things.

"Matvey," Katyusha says his nickname again, the nickname she'd given him a few months back. Her voice is so sweet, so hesitant, that he has to look at her. "Yeah?" he asks.

"Please come by tomorrow, ok?" she asks.

Matthew isn't sure why, but he nods. She smiles.

**4.**  
Matthew has a difficult time falling asleep that night; his mind will not let him rest.

_Katyusha said she missed me_, he thinks. _She missed me._

He cannot help the small, hopeful smile that has blossomed on his face.

The next morning he wakes up two hours early.

**5.**  
Matthew steps into the diner before he allows his nerves to get the best of him. He tells himself that he is being stupid for feeling nervous. Still, he is both a little excited and a little frightened at the prospect of seeing Francis again.

He has to remind himself that he is there for Katyusha and the food and heads straight for his usual table.

A few moments later Katyusha comes out of the kitchen. When she spots him she is all smiles. "I'm so glad you came!" she said. "The usual?"

Matthew finds himself smiling for what must be the hundredth time that day.

"The usual," she says.

When was the last time anyone had remembered anything about him?

Still, he cannot help the heavy weight that settles in his stomach when he sees Francis flirt with a customer a few tables down then walk right past him without saying a thing.

Matthew can't quite place how this makes him feel. Or maybe he just doesn't want to.

**6.**  
Mondays and Wednesdays Matthew only has class in the evening so he works at the local newspaper during the day. Today he spends his lunch hour the same way he always spends it- playing solitaire, looking at recaps from the previous day's hockey match, and checking his email.

He reaches into his bag to pull out a sandwich he'd made for himself that morning only to find that he's forgotten it. He frowns, thinking he'll have to sprint down to the deli if he wants to eat anything. The clock reads 11:24. He has plenty of time.

"Hey hun, you must be new. Could you like, look over these for me?" Felix asks him, thrusting a few files at him without waiting for a reply. Matthew doesn't bother to tell him that they've been working together since the summer. "I'm seriously super busy right now and they're due by like, one."

He nods and says, "Sure," but Felix doesn't notice.

Matthew gets to work; he isn't that hungry anyways.

**7.**  
MATT!

I'm really sorry about this weekend, and I super sorry I didn't get ahold of you till now, but I lost my cellphone. How crazy is that? I would have called you from Arthur's phone, but I forgot your number and then it just sorta slipped my mind to get in touch with you...

Anyways, just wanted to email ya and tell you I'm still alive, and I miss you, and we really need to catch up soon!

Love ya baby bro,

-Al

PS: I can't make it to dinner with the parents next week. Send them my love?

**8.**  
Well that explains why Alfred never called him.

That is just like his brother- apologizing, but being a vague as possible. Matthew wonders if Alfred is even sure of what he is saying sorry for. He supposes not. But he supposes that it doesn't really matter, either. Alfred makes it seem like it's not such a big deal. Alfred makes everything seem like it's not a big deal.

Maybe it's not.

**9.**  
It is a Friday morning and Matthew wakes to find the couch in the living room missing and a hasty note scrawled upon a torn piece of napkin paper taped to the refrigerator.

His flat-mate has moved out without warning and Matthew cannot afford the rent by himself.

Knowing this, he still goes to the diner for breakfast. He thinks he must be in shock.

**10.**  
Matthew's bill comes to a total of $5.67. Beneath it a note has been written:

_I know you said you wouldn't but just in case you change your mind. 418-766-XXXX._


End file.
